By Cindie Hubiak

In A Woman’s Guide to Thriving after Prostate Cancer, I encourage you to interact with me and fellow readers online. Sharing our advice and life lessons will help us all move forward and live thriving lives. Below, I invite you to share your experiences when it comes to communicating your needs.

From The Guide:

Understanding your man’s loss of desire and clearly communicating your needs can save you a lot of pain and frustration. Together, discover ways he can help you feel desired and attractive. Guide him along the way. Get his attention and make a statement before each idea you give him. That way, he knows how much it means to you. To avoid disappointment, be sure to obtain his agreement. Write your ideas for how you want to be treated on small pieces of paper and draw one out each day or week for him.

Here are a few suggestions:

  • Notice how my earrings match my outfit.
  • Comment on the color of my nail polish.
  • Plant a lingering kiss on the back of my neck.
  • How ’bout whistling at me when I walk in the room.

If you find yourself supporting a woman in an intimate relationship with a man diagnosed with prostate cancer, use the information provided here as a guide to talk with her about her experience. Offer suggestions and help her find healthy ways to ensure she feels desirable and attractive.

If you support a man through recovery with whom you don’t have an intimate relationship, help him become aware of what his partner may feel. Encourage him to talk about his feelings, letting him know that many men recovering from prostate cancer feel the same way. Delve into the next section for more ways to support him.
How have you communicated your needs? Which ideas did you write down? Please share your insights and suggestions using the comment form below.

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By Cindie Hubiak

In A Woman’s Guide to Thriving after Prostate Cancer, I encourage you to interact with me and fellow readers online. Sharing our advice and life lessons will help us all move forward and live thriving lives.

We can heal together. I want you to know I am here for support and guidance along your journey. I invite you to share the gifts you found from your prostate cancer experience, ask questions, and provide answers to others. Please leave a comment below with your insights.

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The Wellness Community hosted more than 70 people at a Prostate Cancer Update on September 24, 2011. Solutions for Intimacy co-founders Steve Frohman and Cindie Hubiak shared lessons learned regarding intimacy and sexuality during their prostate cancer journey. They were joined by David C. Beyer, MD, Ali Borhan, MD and Aynne Henry, PhD.

(From left to right) Dr. Ali Borhan, Dr. Aynne Henry, Steve Frohman, Cindie Hubiak, speaking at the Prostate Cancer Update, hosted by The Wellness Community.

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Yesterday we learned that Derrick Hall, President & CEO of the Arizona Diamondbacks, was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Our healing thoughts and prayers are with him, his family and his many fans. We also send those same thoughts and prayers to all those impacted by prostate cancer.

Contemplating this news, I reflecting back on my prostate cancer experience and wondered what I would tell the women in Derrick’s life. While his wife is impacted the most, he may have a mother and sister(s). I believe he has a daughter, and I know he has many female Diamondback fans.

Here are my five ideas for these women in Derrick’s life and for the other women who have recently heard this news about the man in their life:

  1. Focus on your man—he’s the one with cancer. Make sure he receives excellent advice about treatment options and focus on what he needs to recover quickly.
  2. For now, take care of yourself just enough to take care of him. Practice more self-care after he is cancer-free.
  3. Use this experience for growth as an individual and for your relationship with your man.
  4. Grieve. Cancer brings changes to life, and when there’s change, it’s important to grieve.
  5. Stay present. Manage your thoughts by breathing deeply, praying, meditating and exercising.

Steve and I will be participating at an event in Phoenix on Saturday, September 24. It’s at The Wellness Community from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. The program includes an update from two medical doctors at St. Joseph’s Hospital and Dr. Aynne Henry, a psychologist.

Steve and I will share what we’ve learned about intimacy and sexuality during our prostate cancer journey. Please join us and reserve your spot by calling 602-712-1006. If you’re not in Phoenix, see if there is a Wellness Community in your area and obtain support from this wonderful organization.

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Solutions for Intimacy Co-Founders Cindie Hubiak and Steve Frohman discuss the release of Cindie’s new book, A Woman’s Guide to Thriving after Prostate Cancer, and offer Fox 5 San Diego viewers tips on how to enhance intimacy following prostate cancer. View the clip.

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Do you really know what tantra is? There are a number of misconceptions circulating about it, and for the most part, much of the information is limited to the fact that it involves sex and that the singer Sting is a big proponent. But did you know tantra can also help you regain deep connectedness with your partner and revive intimacy?

Tantra began thousands of years ago in Eastern cultures as a spiritual path with teachings about sensuality and sexuality. In the West, however, it’s commonly thought of as a practice for experiencing extended orgasms. Though it certainly can help extend orgasms, that is only one aspect of the teachings.

The term tantra means “to manifest, to expand, to show and to weave.” Many physicians have referred to tantra as “health enhancing,” and regard sexual energy as one of our most powerful energies for health and vitality.

Tantra is not just about sex though. In fact, sex is just at the surface level of this practice. For many, tantra is a lifestyle focused on forming a deeper connection with themselves and their partners through self reflection, meditation, talk, touch and even just looking with intent at one another.

The practice has also been used to help regain potency in various situations including post-prostate cancer through specific breathing, self-reflection and Pubococcygeal (PC) muscle exercises. With the treatment of prostate cancer, it’s common for impotency to occur as a result of emotional stress. Tantra works to address the root of the problem – i.e. emotional and psycho-spiritual blocks. These blocks, which often manifest from old guilt or unaddressed fears, interfere with energy movement. Once released, energy is able to flow through the body once again.

Those who study the ancient science of tantra establish a deeper emotional and spiritual connection with themselves and their partner, which enhances the act of love and contributes to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

The practice of establishing a deeper connection with your partner, being present, and being able to access energy movement, including sexual energy, has such an amazing effect on the body. That’s why so many have turned to tantra following a bout with impotency.

Prostate cancer treatment can present a bevy of stresses, fears and distractions that threaten so many relationships. The age-old practice of tantra, however, can help many couples overcome these struggles by teaching them to open their hearts, emotions and sexuality.

 

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